It's my birthday! After a weird yellow flag fifth date I decided to write this to my universal soulmate;
I want to thank you, my soul mate, my angle, for your endless support and love. Neither of us knew what time really meant before we signed up for this mission on earth. We only understood that we had infinity together never knowing that there could be a period of “time” in-between our infinity. We understood that time would be an extended thought here on Earth. In the words of the great Albert Einstein, time is relative. Who knew millions of years later that we would be stuck in different dimensions defined by this thing called time. I define it as I’m still here and you’re still there. We have become different vibrations working for the same lonely cause.
I wonder if you suffer as I do. I hope not. I think suffering is a Human condition. I know my suffering is an illusion of made up stuff, though every time I get knocked down it sure does feel real because only time can make you feel worn out and home sick. I often wonder if I hate or love being Human. I will pick love every time because I am here as such which makes love the better choice. Though I have always felt so very home sick. The only thing I’m sure of is that I so miss you!
You are always here for me in a way no human ever has been. Although I can’t touch you, I know you have not for one second ever left my side. Remembering you kinda’ sucks. I get discouraged because I cannot see you, touch you or kiss you. I yearn to hold you close. To be held by you seem like a confusing dream I can’t grasp though I know it’s real. That feeling of complete protection, truth and knowing I have not felt by any human. I trust you and yearn to find that divine trust in a mate. As humans we are meant to breed and pair up, though I am always without. You assure me that all will be okay and you rock my bleeding heart with temporary replacements.
I have many a soul mate friend here on earth. My girlfriends are divine and are a balancing part of my core. But, do you want me to also find a good male mate here? There must be plenty of perfectly good qualified applicants, though I don’t know why I have not yet found one. I want a human, family-oriented, wanting more kids, fun loving, dog loving, generous, caring, laid-back man. I know I would make the best partner. I know any man would be lucky to have me. I am pure, honest, pretty, and dedicated. I also know what it takes to keep the spice alive! I am Goddess makings. I'm not shy to say.
Today is my birthday. I had a fifth date tonight. He asked me a week ago to go to dinner for my birthday, I accepted. He seemed cool. He never pushed me for sex and we have only kissed thus far. He confirmed this morning but only confirmed back to my three earlier texts to sort out a plan at 7:20 pm. He said he text me back a few times but I never received them. I was starting to think he was going to bail on my birthday last minute. I had not accepted many other birthday invites because I keep my word and plans always. If text messages don’t go through it is new news to me. If three supposed text messages don’t go through then yellow flags arise. But, no big deal, I did not dwell. We had a nice dinner then headed back to my place afterwards. (My son is away on a three-day school trip, as a solo single mom these times are valuable) He then after 30 minutes at my place had a family emergency. I do understand those happen and am most understanding but he said he would call me and let me know what happened any would maybe come back over. That was four hours ago. It was not a HUGE emergency, and to be honest thinking back it all seems yellow flagish. None of it made sense but I don’t ever want to judge. I called him and text, but no reply. Weird and odd and I must lay it to rest. I don't want to see him again. He did not treat me with the respect and kindness I would have in any situation. Am I wrong in this? Please let me know your thoughts because I saw him as potential, but after this night of pure reddish-yellow flagging would I not be smart to just move on? PS The emergency was one that was under control and was spotty to begin with. No reason why I did not get at least a phone call or text to let me know if he was coming back or not! To at least follow up with a "hey it's all okay!" It's weird and my inner alarms of common courtesy are wailing.
I’m going to pull a random tarot card…. Oh it says; "Release and Surrender; Open your arms and release the challenges that you’ve held tightly gripped within your hands. Open your hands, arms, and heart to our love and assistance.”
PS- I agree but I feel like I have and I do. So now what?
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